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You may be looking for a final exit from survival mode. Just like I was years ago…
Survival mode is a new way of saying that we’re barely getting through, that you’re getting along. Survival sounds like a word in tv shows or video games where the main goal is not to die. But believe me; it might be your reality right now as well.
Survival mode is an evolved stress response related to our fight-or-flight response. And most people don’t realize they’re in it. Maybe she even spends her life grateful for being in this situation. But don’t we deserve more than that?
When considering our primary responsibilities, children, the workforce, and the financials that need to be managed, do you think you are living your potential? Do we believe life is just doing the main things of following 24 hours and meaningless for the rest to follow everyone’s path?
Take a look at the people around you living in stress. You will see two reactions—those who fight or run away. When you constantly face situations that make you tired, upset, maybe wear out, and strain your patience, some of you may continuously respond to them through fights, noise, complaints, and counter-attacks. On the other hand, some of you may be in a state of escape or freezing. Both are signs that you must leave this situation now because you are in survival mode and probably lost.
When your body is in constant survival mode, you cannot allow it to return to its normal function, and as a result, you feel exhausted and disconnected from life. If this situation continues for a while, you can self-destruct because the system will give an error after a time, just like how I did.
With my current consciousness, I realized after many years that I was living in an obvious survival mode when I was busy in my corporate business life when I tried to get pregnant, and then for the first maybe five years of my motherhood.
My excessive effort to do everything on time, my struggle with the belief that I can do everything myself, my attempt to struggle with ambition for success, my endless headaches, on the other hand, and above all, my state of not being happy were all due to this situation. Then followed by countless pieces of training, retreats, books… As I always say, she who seeks light will find. Then it was possible to get out of those darknesses and reach enlightenment. Just like you are reading these lines now…
When I researched the subject later in academic studies, I realized that this situation created different effects and results in male and female bodies due to masculine environments. So eventually, it has been a long journey towards mindful living and then to conscious life, with all the blessings of getting out of here.
What Does Survival Mode Look Like?
Each person experiences survival mode differently depending on how they deal with stress. But in most cases, you can sometimes experience typical physiological stress responses such as increased heart rate, muscle aches, agitation, irritability, depression, and more. On the other hand, you may find yourself procrastinating, avoiding responsibilities, eating more, seeking intensified sexual satisfaction, experiencing reluctance, spending more money, and sometimes even sleeping more in response. Let’s call them short-term pleasures…
Kevin Coleman, the owner of Connected Therapy Practice in Columbia, South Carolina, defines survival mode as a situation in which a person makes decisions with only short-term consequences in mind because they are desperate for short-term relief. Therefore, in survival mode, we cannot think about how to plan and prepare for the best long-term outcome because we are desperate to feel a little better in the short term. That’s why we do the most necessary things and need help to think about the rest.
The truth of the matter is that although it may seem easier to switch to this mode, especially when there are financial problems, it is also possible to say that those around you who do not have economic issues live in this way and are not aware of this with their taken-for-granted thought patterns.
Why Do We Live in Survival Mode?
The last few years have been harsh. When we say a global epidemic, pandemic, economic crises, natural disasters, earthquakes, hurricanes, explosions, and international tensions, the list of things we have been dealing with in recent years seems endless. As if we were going to get bad news at any moment… I can’t remember a time that brought so much turmoil and uncertainty. Of course, the reflection of all this in everyone’s personal life stories was different, but it does. Some got sick, some became poor, some became more pessimistic, some went astray, some lost hope for the future, and some lost their life energy. I’m not surprised that so many people around me live in this mode, are you?
How to Stop Living in Survival Mode
“I am aware that I am living in survival mode and commit to change that here and now.” You can start by saying this very decisive sentence.
So awareness, above all, is crucial. But it’s not always easy to say, “It is over.” But, of course, you will not be able to change an evolutionary reaction of thousands of years and the mood triggered in recent years by simply saying this sentence.
Still, getting out of survival mode is a choice. How?
First, I would like to explain this issue in detail with my suggestions for exiting this mode. Then, I aim to take you from this mode to a higher level, which we call Awareness Mode.
Here’s what you can use in the Survival Mode Exit Plan.
Please find items on this list that will help you as well.
1. Seek Help from Family and Friends
How well said the ancients. The one who does not tell her troubles cannot find a cure. Share, talk, and seek help in your most natural state. Don’t cry or get angry.
Sometimes we are in survival mode because we take on too much in our capacity. You can handle everything alone while thinking about everything, organizing your work if you are working, keeping the house clean, following the kitchen chores, and watching out for their issues if there are children. But you are a soul living in a human body, not a robot. So asking a partner, friend, or family member for help is okay. You don’t have to be perfect.
I’m talking about “getting emotionally lighter” by getting help from some of the things on you. For example, help with meals, help with children’s work. It’s time to give up on the mentality that I will be perfect, I should be perfect, which is the biggest of the patriarchal delusions.
It would help if you had support to get through a time when life feels challenging. So call on the people who love you to help you get through this, and before you know it, you’ll start enjoying life and not only survive, you’ll be successful because you will feel better when you give your focus and energy to other things.
2. Make Time for Your Break(s)
Here is the first issue that is at the root of self-compassion. If you’re tired, stop. Don’t overwork your system. You can have a coffee break, a bath, a walk, sit, or lie down. It’s important to be kind to yourself and show grace and compassion. Don’t be unfair to yourself when listing and targeting your work for the day so you can take a break.
Stretch your mind a little.
First, it’s okay to be unable to do everything at once. You can let things slide if you don’t have anyone to help you. For example, laundry that dries during your housework on the same day does not need to be folded. Floors don’t need to be vacuumed; toys don’t need to be lifted. Identify the things that are not so important and let them go.
It’s okay to make some things missing or poorly. For example, even if you can’t clean the whole house, just wiping the kitchen counter and overhauling the toilets can be a start. It could be enough for the day. Thus, you will have time for the exercise that you say you do not spend time on.
3. Take Time for Self-Care
After creating a break, you should spend that time with different relaxation modes to make you feel good. Whether you have 10 minutes, 30 minutes, or more, there is a self-care method that can help you feel better about your day.
You can add what I’m going to list now to your different routines at the beginning, middle of the day, and end of the day.
You can add what I’m going to list now to your different routines at the beginning, middle of the day, and end of the day.
- Short Exercises: If it is not possible to exercise for 30 minutes, do 5 minutes of stretching and 10 minutes of main exercise. Sure, it’s better than doing nothing. If you connect it to a routine, look how good you will feel.
In this sense, the Kundalini Yoga warming and chakra series and Hatha Yoga practices in Goddess App will suit both duration and effectiveness.
- Positive Motivational Affirmations and Practices: Some affirmations and mantras are suitable for all of us. These change from time to time. But helping ourselves with some of these as we start the day is a very conscious step. Some practices in the Goddess Self-Love & Self-Compassion categories, Breath Studies, and Conscious Breathing category are just to give you the fire of this life energy.
- Meditation: Experts say practicing mindfulness meditation is the best way to deal with survival mode. Stop and try to observe the reality of the present moment. Next, pay attention to your breathing. Focusing on breathing helps you bring your attention back to your body and distract from mental stress.
The content in the Goddess App was designed accordingly for practicing in the middle of the day and at the end of the day. For example, practices in the Compassion-Based Mindfulness category and meditative practices in the Masculine and Feminine balance category can be very good for you to gather energy during the day in this sense.
At the end of the day, when you regularly apply the meditations in the Goddess Sleep category for sleep hygiene, you will see that you wake up calmer and more positive in the morning.
4. Keep a Journal, Take Notes.
There are many scientifically proven benefits of keeping a journal. Such as improving perception, helping focus, and reducing stress. You won’t even believe it, but research has shown it supports immune system diseases and joint pain. That’s why we care about Goddess Journal.
Apart from that, please write down your personal awareness during the day. Then, note down the relevant day in the journal section. (Today, I realized that…) These will help you live in awareness mode, not survival mode. Believe me!
To reinforce this, take a deep breath every evening and ask yourself:
What did make me feel good today? Why?
Stay calm and think. Then write it in the diary. See how the answer to this question will be light and remove the mental darkness on you.
5. Plan.
Some success in life or some happiness is not a coincidence. Planning and time management are in your hands. Please pay attention to it. Plan what you will do that week and what you can do the next day, either the day before or the morning of that day. Let this be a plan covering your work, breaks, personal care routine, and rituals.
I start the week by reviewing that week’s plan every Sunday. What will I be aware of if I complete this week?
6. Choose to Manage Your Time.
Time is precious for everyone, but the most precious thing is how much time you spend on what and how you fill it. What do you want to devote time to? Please be clear about this first.
Your job, yourself, and your children, if any. If necessary, if you disperse a lot, social media, TV series, etc. If you’re wasting time, set an alarm to be a warning. If you have trouble getting up in the morning, the best solution is to set an alarm. After you postpone it three times, your body’s rhythm will gradually adapt.
Let’s say you want to finish a specific task. So give yourself time before you start. If your time is an hour, set your alarm for an hour later. It will be like a tiny target to yourself for that time. Sometimes when I write articles/blog posts with focus, it works very well.
On the other hand, it will help you to set up your Goddess morning and evening routines at the time you want from within the application.
7. Spend time with your family and friends.
I should have put this on your list as a mission. Consciously choose to be with your family and enjoy the moment. Laugh, have fun. Refrain from talking about accounts. Make fun of what you know; let it be hours that you spend life with jokes and laughter. Leave the moment. Collect memories!
In short, don’t be hard on yourself. Be like yourself. Let this be your most extensive comfort zone.
I embrace you with all my love,
Dr. Nile
